i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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