Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
