You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
