Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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