You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
