The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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