New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I party with great urgency now.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
