ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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