$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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