Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
