youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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