somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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