Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
