the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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