i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
