If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
