But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
