Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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