And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
