Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
