he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
