so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
