Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
