I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
