That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
