My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
