he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
