My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
