Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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