remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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