Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
