Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
well you can't waste a boner
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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