I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
