dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
