It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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