i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It's like God shit irony all over that family
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
