never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
