I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You were trust falling into bushes
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
