You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
