Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
