My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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