He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
