ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
