Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
