no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
