I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
