The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
