YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
