One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
