Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
