OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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